In my last post, I talked about starting a YouTube channel and my reasons why. But there was one reason that I did not mention.

For nearly all of my life, I have been a talentless person. That changed when I was introduced into programming by a friend, but even now, I am only that: a programmer.

I want to be something more, so I am launching a hobby of filmmaking.

Now, I will be posting the videos I make to YouTube, but I will also be posting them in other places. Thus, I will not be a “YouTuber,” at least, in the way everyone thinks of. Instead, N will call myself a “filmmaker” or an “entertainer.”

Of course, I have basically no chance of becoming a celebrity. I mean, there is a chance, but it may as well not exist for how small it is.

Why? I have no charisma; I am a programmer, a nerd.

Nevertheless, there is that small chance, which makes me nervous that I will become something I hate. You see, I hate how fake celebrities are. Of course, it’s their job to be fake, so I can’t blame them, mostly. But I don’t want to become fake either, even if I do become a celebrity.

If I become a celebrity, I want to be a genuine one.

So what am I supposed to do? Well, first of all, I am building my filmmaking on an idea that will require me to be genuine. As I said in the last post, this idea is that my videos will be based on making myself uncomfortable.

This means that, unlike most celebrities that have to put on a good face and make it seem like they are enjoying what they do, I do not; it’s all part of the idea to make me not enjoy what I am doing, in a way, at least.

The other thing is that, as I said before, I have no charisma, which is crucial to a celebrity, especially a male one, so I have to base my interactions with the public on something else.

I choose to base it on being genuine.